Thursday, August 25, 2011

Spanking = hitting?

My intentions with this post are not to get a bunch of people riled up (not that many will even see it), but to bring to view a common misconception among Christians Today. If you have an opinion on this subject, and I'd imagine that you do, please let me know in a Comment!!! 
Norman rockwell
I was reading a post over at Always Learning about spanking, and finding some of the comments rather interesting. One of the commenters said
Spanking children only teaches them to hit to get what they want. As a child, I was spanked before the age of 5 as well...and I remember it all. I remember watching my brother get spanked too. It only taught us anger, and I have had to work through my anger in many therapy sessions due to this. . . . Children should be taught by example, and certainly hitting, (yes HITTING and spanking are the same things), is not a way to teach your children respect. 
I bet that she was spanked in anger, which can, and will cause children to resent the spanker.
It's amazing how often Hitting and spanking are equated to being the same thing.
"Yes, little Jonny got a spanking.
(Gasp!) You hit your children?!?!
No, I said he got a spanking.
Violence begets violence!
I agree, that's why I spanked him.
~Unknown Author.  (Ok, I admit, I wrote that)
~ Known Author
Now, if I were to hit my brother with something, even on the rear, he probably wouldn't run to Mom yelling "MOM!!! Paul spanked me!!!!" Kids know the difference, and from a very early age too. I think Lori got it right by saying that children need to get understand that sin and pain to hand in hand. A young'n will only touch a stove once or twice before they realize that every time they do, they feel the surging pain of a burn on they're hand. Some things, on the other hand, don't have immediate consequences. Stealing for example, doesn't always have an immediate negative repercussion, hence, a young child might not equate a later punishment with a much earlier act. Even if they're caught, pain is a much stronger motivator then a lecture (while they're younger) on the wrongs of stealing, and how it might harm society, and how it's just not nice. If a boy hits his sister (Violence) and Mom sees him and responds with a quick, non emotional spanking (Discipline), he will eventually, depending on the thickness of his head, learn that "violence begets discipline, and discipline can hurt!"

And just a side note, I'm not going to delve into "time out's" because they simply don't work (accept on an extreme minority of children). I remember being sent to time out, and the whole time I was sitting there, steaming about how I was going to get back at whoever made me get that time out, and how I was going to get them back. Don't ever let a child stew on his anger. It's the same as with adults, only faster.

Just as important as the punishment, is how that punishment is carried out. If Dad flies into a rage when ever billy does disobeys, and then proceeds to spank him profusely in anger, then I would call that abuse. Billy might be more obedient for a short time, but he will soon come to resent his father, and he might become violent as he gets older, and will probably be an abusive parent.
However, if when Billy does disobeys, his Dad calmly administers a spanking on his bottom or upper legs, billy will come to equate disobedience with a slight amount of pain.
Now of course, all children are different, and some may need more spankings (like me) then others, but I do believe that all children, will need spankings at one time or another. I don't believe that this is a matter of opinion because in it says to use the rod quite a few times in the bible:

Proverbs 13:24 He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.
Proverbs 22:15: Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.
Proverbs 23:13: Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die.
Proverbs 23:14: Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.
I think you get the idea.
And God didn't say anything like: "If sound reasoning, and lecturing fail, then use the rod", or "If all else fails, and it's legal, spank your child". I find it interesting that parents often think that spanking is a topic that the bible leave up to their discretion. But it's clear that the bible not only recommends it, but requires it!

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