Would Someone Please Just Tell Me!?!

Here's a scenario: You love doing backflips on your quad using a wooden ramp. However, unbeknownst to you, this made some of your friends, even close friends, nervous because some of the boards looked loose. None could muster the courage to tell you directly (perhaps because you've not taken reproof well in the past), so they eventually brought their concerns to your parents, who intended to relay those concerns to you. However, they hesitated for some time while waiting for the right time to tell you so as to not offend you. However, while they were waiting, the top board of your ramp finally gave way, your quad went flying through the air in an uncontrolled spin, and broke your arm in the landing. So now, you are lying in a hospital bed recovering from reconstructive surgery, and your dad strolls into your luxurious room, sits down in the chair, and this dialog follows:

"Well son, how's your arm feeling?

"Better, but it still smarts somethin' fierce.

"The Doc said that the pain meds should be kicking in soon. Listen, there's something that your mother and I should have told you awhile ago. You see, a couple of your friends expressed concern about the integrity of your ramp, and we were going to tell you, but we didn't want to hurt your feelings, so we waited for the right time to tell you. But it looks like we waited too long."

"What? You were worried that my feelings would be hurt? I think I'd rather been offended than have this broken arm."

"Hmm, good point. Well, what could we do differently in the future?"

"Maybe if I didn't let my feelings be hurt or get defensive when someone comes to me with advice or a reprimand, people would be more likely to voice concerns to me?"

"Son, I think you've hit the nail on the proverbial head."

•  •  •

Ok, now I know that this is NOT one of the best analogies ever devised (nor even close), but I think it gets the point across. If you think that someone else is in error, bring your concern to him. Even if he gets upset, you will have the knowledge that you did the right thing, and then it's up to the Lord to change his heart. Proverbs 24:25: But to them that rebuke him shall be delight, and a good blessing shall come upon them.

So, there are two morals to this story. Moral 1 is for the recipient of reproof:

Proverbs 15:31: The ear that heareth the reproof of life abideth among the wise.

Proverbs 15:32: He that refuseth instruction despiseth his own soul: but he that heareth reproof getteth understanding.

Moral 2 is for him that offers the reproof:

Titus 2:6: Young men likewise exhort to be sober minded.  

Hebrews 3:13: But exhort one another daily, while it is called To day; lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin.

Here's the clearest one: 

Proverbs 27:5: Open rebuke is better than secret love.

 This verse, I think, carries a lot of weight in and of itself. Basically, it's saying if you really love someone (as in brotherly love), then you will do what's best for him, rather than what simply makes you both feel good. And in the long run, if he isn't a fool, in the future he will thank you for it.

Only God knows . . .

Here's a really good one:

"Captain, my religious belief teaches me to feel as safe in battle as in bed. God has fixed the time for my death. I do not concern myself about that, but to be always ready, no matter when it may overtake me." He added, after a pause, looking me full in the face: "That is the way all men should live, and then all would be equally brave"

Thomas "Stonewall" Jackson

Ladies First

Those are two words I don't hear very often in the outside world (I.E. outside of the Christian homeschooling crowds that I live in). The feminists have done a very good job at what they think is equalizing women, namely, elevating women, because according to them, working a 9 to 5, is so much more prestigious then being a homemaker. But what they've really done, is pull men down, and try to make them switch rolls. They may say that they simply want equality, but if that were really the case, then you would expect that at least half the time, they would be holding doors for men. But no.

In they're minds, 'equality' means 'identical', or ('congruent' to use the math term). Yet you can ask any doctor, any counselor, or any married person for that matter, and (if they're honest) they will have to admit that there are differences. Try as one might to mask it, their always will be. But is that Bad? Let me ask you this, is an ax head more important then the handle which holds it? Is the trim on a house more important then the studs which support it? They are both vastly different, and yet, they both need each other. If the studs in a house decided that they wanted to be trim as well, then the whole house would come down. Yet if it had no trim, the house would simply be a building. neither would be very comely to look upon. If the ax handle decided that it wanted to be a head, then both would be useless. They both need each other. God designed the genders to be complimentary. Equal, yet distinct. 
This blog has some really good insights into feminism, I've found it to be really helpful, he has some really good insights.


Anyway, Back to the title of this post. I thought about all of this because I was at a business lunch the other day, and when the waiter came to take our orders, she said "Ladies first" and started with the woman at the table. I was pleasantly surprised when she did so, it's not something I hear often at restaurants, probably because the waitress's are concerned that they might offend the feminist demographic. But I think that the lady at the table was appreciative.
So go hold a door, offer your umbrella, and be generally courteous to the women in your life, wether they're 5 years old or 85 years young, they'll appreciate it.
~Paul

Pandoras Box

Through an interesting set of circumstances, I ended up staying at a hotel in between connecting flights on my way back to MI from Mexico. So I'm here all alone, with internet, and a television set, nobody with me to see what I'm doing, or what I'm watching. Now the battle starts. If I do turn on the TV, will  watch edifying things, or will I succumb to my fleshly desires? We don't get TV at home, or in MI, so I don't really know what's on when, what are good shows, etc, so I would have to do some channel surfing, and who knows what might flash by as I'm doing so?
So I decided to simply leave it off altogether. The amount of lousy programming that's on there isn't worth wading through to see if there is anything worth watching. I know how easy it is to slowly slip into watching something slightly objectionable, and once you start sliding, it's hard to stop.
I'm not saying that if you have a TV in your house, then your are evil. There is nothing inherently wrong with television, and if you know which channels have good programming, then you don't have to wade through the muck and the mire.
There is such reward in overcoming the temptation to lust. If you can overcome that, then there isn't any temptation that you (with the Lords help) can't overcome. Lust is probably one of the strongest forces a man will face. Look at how many businesses, churches, and families that have been brought down because the Boss, Pastor, or Father fell into the sin of lust. The number is stagering.
But you can't just leave a time vacuum in the TV's place, so I did other productive things that were on my mental list of "to do's". I finished a lengthy email (which I love doing), and made some phone calls to family and friends back in Oregon. Time is valuable, and it's the one thing that all people have the same amount of. How will you use yours?
~Paul

The Value of Family

I sit here in Michigan, the house is empty because my older brother has yet to return, having just finished reading through the list of blogs that I follow, and I'm stuck by how much I miss my family. One of the blogs I follow is by a mom who's blog posts are almost always pictures and stories about her family. What they've been doing, the good and bad things that have happened, things like that. I love they're family, and reading about what they've been up to, but not as much as I could ever love my own! I know the phrase "you never miss it till it's gone" it cliché, but it still rings true. My days now consist of sleeping, reading my bible, working, blogging, math, piano, working on my car, and various others minor things, so my time is filled (maybe too filled, I've already worked 30 hours this week, and it's only Wednesday), but even though I'm busy, several times a day, I'll be doing something, and it will remind me of what a family member has, or would do in that situation. Or I'll be working on my car, and be searching the internet because I can't figure something out on it, and I'll think "I bet dad would know how to fix this, to bad it's 5am back home". I know that I often took them for granted, but now, where I only get to see them on short vacations, it makes my time with them so much more valuable. One day all my siblings will be married, we'll all live in different houses, and we'll only see each other on occasion. But right now, accept for Ross, they're all conveniently living in one place. I can't wait until this march when I'll get to go back and visit.
So I guess what I'm trying to say with all of that is this: God gives us a limited amount of time with our families, and we don't know when that time will pass, so appreciate it right now! Don't wait until tomorrow to tell your mom that you love her, or your dad that's he's awesome, do it right now! They have sacrificed more then your or I can ever imagine for they're children, and a quick "I love you" can be remembered for years to come.
~Paul

Lessons in selflessness

"Ah, Finally Finished" I thought, "Room's all clean, now I can start working on my project". I walked downstairs to empty the garbage can, but as I was on my way back up, Dad called in from the other room "Paul, could you help Emily with the pancakes?" I really didn't want to at that moment, "Emily's a fine cook, she doesn't need my help" I reasoned, but when I walked over, and she was melting 1 3/4 cup of butter, I knew something was up. "That's a lot of butter!" I thought, I looked at the recipe, and sure enough, it called for 1 3/4 cup of flour, not butter. "Well, maybe she does need help". So, after some more inner conflict, and trying to reason why she didn't really need my help, I decided that my project could wait, but dinner couldn't. So I played Scullery maid, and helped her prepare the pancakes.
I'm really glad I did. Not only was it a good lesson for me, about dying to self, but she's a fun girl to cook with! Emily (who is 7 by the way) almost always has a positive attitude about her, so even when something doesn't go quite as planned, she just let's it slide, and looks to fix it.
I didn't really get to work on my project that evening, but as far as I'm concerned, it was an evening well spent!
~Sir Paul

LIve and Learn

Here's my journal entry for today, unedited. I hesitated sharing it because I made such a stupid judgment error, but maybe by my sharing it, I can help you keep from making the same mistake, I hope that it might be beneficial to some of you! 

December 9, Friday

I learned an expensive lesson today. I got scammed $500.

I am shopping for a macbook for Mrs. Cornelious (I'm not buying it, I'm simply doing the shopping, and she'll pay me back), and there was one on craigslist up in traverse city that looked pretty good, not too good to be true, but a good deal. So I was in contact with the seller via text message, and decided to buy it. He said that how I we needed to do it was for me to buy a moneypak card, and then we’d use an escrow service to hold the money, until I received the computer, and then it releases he money to the seller. Well, that probably would have worked, but I didn’t follow the directions exactly. I followed his instructions, figuring that he’s done this before. I gave him the number on the back of the card, and that was the last I heard from him. I should have seen the signs, there were quite a few. He said that he was out of minutes, so I couldn’t call him, He told me to give him the number on the moneypak card, and I did, even though it says not to do that right on the back of the card, I asked for his address before I gave him the number, which he did, but once I realized I’d been scammed, I looked the address up online, and it’s a house that’s for sale. Then I called the phone number, and it’s a pay per use phone, so no contract, no address, no nothing. 

So I’m out 500 bucks. 

But you know what? I’m ok with that. I mean, not that I wanted to lose that money, I still feel like an idiot (maybe that’s a little strong, foolhardy perhaps) for not seeing all the red flags, but I learned an important lesson from it. God is sovereign, so he’s in control right? So who allowed/made that man steal my money? Well, God did! And I’m thankful for it!! Because it says in James 1:2b-4 ...count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations; Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing. So I can either chose to be bitter, and angry at that man for scamming me, or I can rejoice, and be thankful to the Lord for this lesson. I mean, 500 dollars for a lesson that will last me a life time? Quite a deal if you ask me! Because I know I’d learn it at some point, so better it happen now when there aren’t as many zeros on the end of the price tag. Well, I’m back in the market, and I’m going to be sure that I can hold the macbook before any cash changes hands. I won’t make this mistake again! So I’d say it was worth it. Thank you Lord!

Courtship Interviews

Ross and I had an amazing opportunity to participate in a documentary that it currently being filmed about courtship! I won't give you all of the back story, because it's not particularly interesting, but in summery, Ross was put in contact with this family (the Wrights) by one of his other friends in the area, and when they found out about Ross's views on courtship, told him that they were in a documentary that was being made about courtship, and asked if he'd like to come over for a visit and be interviewed for it! Well it just so happened that around this time, I came out to Michigan, so I got to come along and participate.

I was expecting to be interviewed by the producer, and have my responses video taped. But what actually happened was that as Ross and I walked in the front door, and they all greeted us, off to the side, hiding in the shadows, was the camera man filming us. I immediately realized that this wasn't going to me an interview driven documentary, but more of a reality TV style, where it looks like all the people aren't even aware that there is a camera in the house. So after I saw the camera, I did my best not to look at it, even though it was a really nice camera. Throughout dinner, and the conversation afterwards, the camera was floating around us, sometimes close up, sometimes off in the corners. It took a little bit of focus at the beginning to act normal, and resist the temptation to look at the camera, but after a little while, it wasn't such a distraction, and the conversation flowed naturally.

Now before I go any farther, you all would probably like to know who this mysterious family is that we were visiting. They look like a pretty normal homeschooling family on the outside, but on the inside, they're much more! It became apparent after just a short time that they all love each other so much, and they have so much fun together. They laugh and joke together, often telling us interesting (and occasionally embarrassing) stories about the different members of the family, as well as deep, heart touching stories about they're life, how Mr. and Mrs. Wright met, the trials they'd had in they're marriage, and how they got saved. They have a website called "Before the Kiss" which is a compilation of books and recourses on courtship! They have two daughters, as well as a 'somewhat' adopted daughter. (I say 'somewhat' because her parents are still living,but in another state). Read their story on they're website here:

http://www.beforethekiss.com/about.html

So for most of the filming we sat around the dinner table, eating a delicious meal, and talking about home churches and courtship. They're working on starting a home group, so we talked for awhile about our experiences with our home church, it's strong points, and it's weak points, and then we moved onto courtship. It was mostly an ongoing dialog between all of us, rather then them simply asking questions, and us answering them. It was a great time. The producer and camera man left at about 11pm, but we kept talking until about 1am. Ross had originally planned on driving back home that night (about 2 1/2 hours), but he decided that it was a little late for that, so he asked if we could sleep on the floor and leave in the morning. They said that would be fine, so we got to spend the night. Ross was planning on being out the door by eight the next morning, but after they got up, we started chatting again, and then they made breakfast (eggs and hand made sausage), and we kept talking until we finally left a little behind schedule, about noon.

I am really looking forward to going back to visit them some time soon, they're such a great family to be around!

~Paul

P.S.

The Producer is about 6 months into this project, and she said that ones of this length usually take about three years. So I'll keep you updated.

Reflections

I've now been in Michigan for over a month, coming up on a month and a half, I am starting to feel a little (more) homesick. I don't regret being here what so ever, but I do miss the fellowship of people back in Oregon. They're just so one of a kind. If any of you are reading this, I miss you all! I won't be coming home until Christmas Break, and even then, it will probably only be for three weeks or so, and then I'm hopping that I'll be able to come back. I am learning so much here from Mr. Parunak it's unfathomable. I can't imagine a better person to thrust me into the engineering world. This is just sort of a reminiscing post, and I don't have any deep theological lightbulbs for you this time (not that I usually do). If I were to encourage you all to one thing, it would be this: Love and cherish those around you!! Relationships are so precious! Guard and protect the ones you have. They are more valuable then you can imagine (at least, then I can imagine, though I don't have the most creative imagination, so maybe you all can imagine how valuable they are). All the cars, houses, power, fame, and riches pale in comparison to relationships, especially our relationship with our Lord and Savior, Jesus. So, if someone you love is near you right now, go give 'em a big bear hug, and tell them how much they mean to you!
~Sir Paul

How you treat your Mom...

...Is how you'll treat your Bride.

I’ve heard is said many times, 'how a young man treat’s his Mom, is how he’ll treat his wife". “Wait, What!?!?” you might think “But my mom’s so much different then who I’d like to marry!” It still rings true! It’s taken awhile for this to really sink in, but It really has been these last few weeks. It’s so easy for me to imagine how I’ll treat my future bride. “I’ll be one of the best husbands ever!” I think. That’s all well and good, but what about when things get tough? Am I really willing to make the choice, even when it can hurt? What if my wife would really like to have “blank”, but I can’t see why? Am I willing to put her desires above my own? How can I know? How can I prepare? Can I know?

Enter “Mom”.

God’s design for marriage and raising children so amazing. He give young adults someone who we live with,who is very forgiving, who is much, much wiser then us, to teach and train us how to treat our future spouses. They also know you inside and out, and will be able to spot a bad attitude from a mile away. So when they are giving instruction, give them your full attention! You won’t regret it later!

It also allows us to see how other people will treat they’re future spouses. In my case, when a young lady catches my interest, one of the first things I’ll want to observe is how she treats her father. Is she rude and short tempered? Does she just kind of blow him off? Or does she treat him with kindness and respect? Similarly, my Mom is the perfect proving ground for how I will treat my wife!

I heard a good quote the other day:

Sew a thought, reap a desire. Sew a desire, reap an action. Sew an action, reap a habit. Sew a habit, and reap a lifestyle.

And one that is a little more well known:

Deuteronomy 5:16

Honor they father and thy mother, as the Lord thy God hath commanded thee; that thy days may be prolonged, and that it may go well with thee, in the land which the Lord has thy God giveth thee.

In conclusion, think about how you can bless your parents today. Maybe some kind words, maybe doing the dishes without being asked, maybe a note, be creative. It’s a very rewarding process. Having a close relationship with your parents is one of the biggest blessing you’ll ever have!!

Review of "The Five Love Languages: Singles Edition" Coming soon!

A couple of weeks ago, A great friend of mine loaned me a copy of "The Five Love Languages". It's an amazing book, and has given me a new insight to my relationships with other people (Mostly my family at this point). It is directed primarily towards married couples, which made applying some of the concepts in is somewhat challenging. So it was with great delight that I found that, on at the back of the front cover, was a list of other books that he author had written, one of which the "For Singles" edition! Once I got to Michigan I ordered it and am now greatly looking forward to reading it late into the night, as is my habit with really good books. 

So, when I'm finished with it, or maybe while I'm reading it, I'll post my thoughts on it. So be watching!

I could not have said it better Continued

…continued from part 1

6/ We love your scatter-brained craziness and some of the insane things you do like rolling down grassy hills or leaping around the living room to yur favourite CD (and getting the words wrong!) or twirling in your skirts and dresses!  The twirling thing is an absolute charm!

7/ We absolutely adore it when you wear your feminine clothes like blouses, skirts, dresses and shoes that don’t have a certain swoosh or motif in the side. And you don’t necessarily have to adorn yourselves with all the latest accessories, jewelry and other enhancements.  Maybe some of us guys aren’t intelligent, articulate or kind enough to compliment you on how pretty you might look; maybe we’re afraid you’ll suspect our motive for saying something nice.  But if we comment negatively, here’s a piece of advice:  ignore us.  Whatever you do, don’t stop dressing like a girl… it helps to define you.

8/ You look so loveley whenever you wear some of those full skirts.  They can be any kind, circular or pleated, but their volume and fullness gives you a romantic presence that has untold power.  You look so beautiful and graceful when, as you take a seat, you skirt seems to flow everywhere(!) and the sound it makes whenever you move announces the presence of a real, genuine, feminine woman.

9/ How magic it is to walk beside you when you wear your skirts and dresses!  You look so pretty and feminine as you swish along with us. You make us feel like men – gentlemen if we’ve got any sense.  And if we’re lucky the breeze will catch your hem and brush it gently against us. Phew!  I’m in the presence of a woman!  Years ago, on a date with my soon-to-be wife, I remember that I couldn’t have imagined being with anyone prettier as strands of her hair drifted in the breeze and her dress swished, flowed, splashed and rippled as we walked along the beach.  She made a beautiful picture

10/ You can steal our hearts without knowing it!  We can sometimes remember even brief encounters with you years after they’ve happened. Why?  Because of the powerful impression you made.  It could have been something as simple as a smile you tossed over your shoulder when you said “See you later!”,  but you can’t imagine the effect as your hair and clothes twirled outward.

You are so distracting.  Who on Earth should a gentleman live for other than his girl?

I could not have said it better

I found this as I was rabbit trail blogging (finding a blog, and then clicking a link on it to another blog and then doing that about 5 or 6 times). So here it is:

Greetings, Ladies

Christa asked me to be a guest blogger on her Empowered Traditionalist site and so for the first time here is an article which, whether you see yourself as a girl, woman or lady, I hope will encourage, inspire and dignify you.

Ten Things Guys Love About Girls

Before I begin there are a few things that I should mention. First of all, a little-known truth:  there are so many things about you which enchant us guys (those of us who are in touch with the higher brain functions ^_^) that this article will never be complete. I would be unable to speak on behalf of all men.  So, perhaps I should just add to it from time to time whenever I think or hear of something that we men love about you.

If you’re trusting and hoping that God will bring you a suitable man one day, then be encouraged, because you have so many ways of leaving us spellbound without even knowing it!  You may not consider yourself to be that attractive but you can win our attention without even trying.  You’re a girl, therefore logic and the law of probability dictate that sooner or later you will deeply impress a man, just the way He intended.

1/ We love your expressive behaviour, particularly the way your eyes smile and sparkle when you laugh.  We love that wide-eyed expression of yours when something excites or amazes you.  And to be truthful, we love that cute “puppy” face you use on us (come on, girls, you know the one I’m talking about! ^_^) when you want something – and what’s so infuriating is that it works! ^_^

2/ We love some of the mannerisms which you take for granted.  It might be something as simple as tucking a lock of hair behind your ear.  Such a “feminine” thing to do.

3/ We love what you do with your hair:  slide-combs, clips, grips, pony-tails, plaits, curls, waves, fringes, braids, bows and (a personal favorite) ribbons that flutter and dance behind you in the breeze when you walk around.

4/ We love your frequent willingness to help or “problem-solve” in any situation.

5/ We love that confident but gentle way you carry yourselves.  Your poise and grace and the way your voices can sometimes have a soothing tone. Your uncontrived, guile-less manner so unlike the attention-seeking, manipulative ditziness of some others.

part 2 coming tomorrow….

I don't think there's anyway I could have been more descriptive then this young man. You know, most of the things he mentions are things that I find to be true, I just wouldn't have noticed them.
I think I'll leave it at that. Part two tomorrow.

The Forest from the Trees

Last night, my Beautiful Mother and I were filling the car with gas and My Dad's work, and we saw a bunny over in the grass near one of the buildings. It didn't look like a wild rabbit, more like one that you would see at a county fair. So I slowly walked over to it and bent down with my hand outstretched. The bunny skeptically hopped closer and closer until it was sniffing my hand. I then tried to reach out a little farther to pet it's head, in doing so I scared it and set it to running. After it started hopping away, Mom lamented that it was to bad that I wasn't able to catch it, as she thought it didn't have much of a chance in a truck yard. So we got back in the van and right after we started moving, something in the headlights moved. I looked closer and saw that it was a baby bunny, two of them! "I'm glad I wasn't able to catch her," I said, "she's probably they're mother".

Now your probably wondering, "Why is he talking about a bunny?" but hang with me, there is a point to all this.

When the bunny hopped away from me, my first thought was "That's a bummer, I don't think she'll make it out here for very long", but when we got in the car and switched on the headlights, we saw the baby bunnies. So if we had caught the Momma bunny, the babies probably wouldn't have made it. When she ran away, I was looking at one tree, thinking "Phooey". But when we saw the baby bunnies, we saw the forest; the bigger picture.
When something happens that we don't particularly enjoy, the usual first reaction is "Why?", when it should be "What's the bigger picture here?". Often we will only think about how this effects us rather then how it's going to effect others. We hone in on the situation, which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but we need to periodically step back and look at the bigger picture.

Paul